What’s the point of getting together anyway?…..

Every business meal I attend, and there are many of them, generally result in a bunch of people sitting around looking at their pdf gadget of choice……a quick glance around the restaurant shows a similar trend.   Is it that we are soooo important that we simply don’t have time to listen, converse, network, build relationships without 90% of our attention being on “the gadget”  Often being the only female at the table, I take great pleasure in telling the guys to put away their toys….which they generally do with a laugh and in good humor…for a short time…….but then I realized that they think it is a tad strange that I don’t seem to have a buzzing pdf…..I do… I just silence it for the occasion!

Moving on; I have a wonderful close circle of friends.  A bunch of women, we are like sisters, and we really enjoy our evenings out once a month and quick catch up for coffee etc. in between……Guess what, everyone has IPhone etc.  in hand and in constant motion.  Sigh!!

Final straw…you guessed it ….my kids.  We cannot have been together without IPhone, IPads etc. ruling the scene.  The other day I say my oldest daughter coming out of the house to go for breakfast with her IPad, on top of which sat her work Blackberry, her work phone and her IPhone…..UH?  So full circle……apparently the reason she has all of these gadgets with her is because……wait for it………her many bosses are constantly on their gadgets and if she gets a message and doesn’t respond then there is some backlash as to commitment…………..true story.  Regardless, I’ve told them all to turn everything off.  Meal time is for being together with humans not social media

When does the Glass Ceiling become a Concrete Ceiling?………..

It has been many decades since the concept of the Glass Ceiling was first put forward in the U.S. and since that time there has been a highly publicized and often very structured plans put in place by organizations to attempt to allow Caucasian women and minority men to crack that barrier.  Yes, you read that correctly:  I did say Caucasian women and minority men.

However, when you are an Asian minority woman that glass ceiling…..well that can become a solid concrete ceiling without you even realizing it.   At first it’s amusing in a bizarre sort of way….you walk into a room, or see senior management in public, or you’re in casual clothes at an event and you are simply ignored….no WAIT…not ignored on purpose…..they just don’t SEE you!!  This when just the day before you were in a meeting with these same guys!  In everyday dealings, (when they do know you are present!), if such a female is confident or is forthright and not afraid to express her opinion then more often than not it is viewed as “abrasive” and “surprising” and met with a somewhat condescending reaction where in corporate culture those same traits are viewed as a clear display of leadership potential.

It took me a decade before I finally “got it”.  There is an age old adage that many male leaders like to see a mirror image of sorts in front of them and when there is mentoring to be had the same principle holds true.  Some rare exceptions to that do exist,  but if a research study were performed I absolutely believe the results would support my thesis which , by the way,  is not a theory but a fact of life…..I have experienced the “Concrete Ceiling” first hand and it is frustrating and angers me no end.  But I am not going to change who I am or the pride I have in myself and will hold my head high and make myself heard……..if for no other reason than for one very important one….I owe it to my daughters……and to my son…..each for a different reason but both equally important.